The Burden Of Being An Eldest Child
Being the eldest child isn’t easy. We’re often expected to be the strong one, the one who sets an example. We see and experience things that our younger siblings might not.
From an early age, we learn to deal with responsibilities that come with being the oldest.
We become the unofficial therapists for our siblings and parents. We’re the ones they turn to for advice and support. But when it’s our turn to, we receive
“kaya mo ‘yan”
“You are my pride, you should do your best.”
It feels like there’s an expectation that we should handle everything on our own.
When others reach out to us, we’re quick to respond and offer help. But when we need someone to listen or support us, it seems like everyone disappears.
We’re expected to always be the role model, to always be okay, even when we’re struggling.
It’s hard to understand why, as the eldest, we’re not allowed to be sad or show weakness. We’re expected to be strong and composed all the time. When we do show that we’re hurting, we’re often called ‘sensitive’ or other names that make us feel worse.
being the eldest child means often putting the needs of others before our own.
But, Who takes care of the eldest child? Who listens to us when we need comfort or a shoulder to lean on when we’re feeling down?
We’re seen as the brave ones, but we also need support. We may hide our pain by being tough, but deep down, we just want to be heard and understood.
The eldest child is often the one who understands everyone else’s problems but struggles to find the same understanding when we need it.
The eldest child often feels like they are the glue holding the family together, but who holds them together when they need it most?
We are the ones who often put others first, who understand everyone else’s needs and problems, yet when it’s our turn, there’s no one available to reciprocate the understanding we so freely offer.
Can there be just one day where I can live as your weakest daughter? A day where I’m not the one holding everything together, but instead, the one being taken care of. I want to feel what it’s like to be seen as fragile and in need of support, without the pressure to be strong and dependable.
Can there be a day when I can set aside my role as the eldest, the one who always has to be the role model and the source of strength? I want to experience the comfort of being cared for, without having to play the part of the caregiver.
Just one day where I can be vulnerable, where I can lean on others and feel supported, not because I am strong, but simply because I need it.
Can there be just one day where I can be your daughter who needs comforting, rather than the one who always provides it?
Being an Eldest Child is hard, we are expected to handle everything, we also need to remember that we deserve support and compassion too.
